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I had been in a process of self-realization for around 3 years, and this past winter really broke me down to help me reach a wall that is close to the other side. A Silent retreat in May for 10 days helped a lot, but I did a lot of the mental work months prior to that.

I can still recall a conversation with my professor last December. I was always rushing for results in anything I do at the time, and he offered the perspective to think about practicing meditation (and perhaps anything) as investing for compound interest.

Months have passed since then and I am happy with the incremental growths I made over time; the understanding from looking inward, and slowly coming out of illusions to wake up to reality.

The work I have done boils down to:

  • live with change
  • accept and contemplate death
  • let go of things I cannot control

The world becomes a lot purer and interesting, because I can finally appreciate people and things for what they are, and not for what they seem to be.

Suddenly I find myself no longer getting caught up in many interpersonal relationship struggles I have had before by simply observing and being present. And this has allowed me to reserve my energy for things that really matter to me.

to be continued…

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